Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
