Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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