dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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