You can't motorboat a personality
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
