I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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