Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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