Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
