I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
