dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Hippo gnu deer
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
