I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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