come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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