so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nutella sex= disaster
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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