Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
