Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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