I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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