So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
