so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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