hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
