Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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