If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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