I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
