uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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