We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
