college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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