so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
