I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
