she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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