Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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