i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
