i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
