You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
