I think my vagina is haunted
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
