I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
