You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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