im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
