He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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