Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
