i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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