It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize