A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ttyl tear gas
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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