He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
