ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
