I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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