I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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