Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
