he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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