his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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