OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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