PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
