she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
