my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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