just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
