this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
