I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
