I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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