community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Randomize
