"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to sanitize my soul.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
