mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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