the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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