you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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