why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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