Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize