look no pants
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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